Here’s some advice for you. If the KFC employee forgets your condiments, do not back your car into her. This is an overreaction on your part.

The Phoenix New Times says that after customer noticed she had been cruelly denied condiments, she stormed back into the KFC and began a shouting match with the employees inside. One of the workers then followed the woman back out to her car to take down her license plate number.

When the customer began to back out of her parking space, the employee hit her trunk in order to let her know that she was standing back there and did not want to die.

At that point, according to police, the customer ran her car into the employee.

The employee is ok, and the customer has been arrested on suspicion of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, plus disorderly conduct. Over some condiments. Sigh.

Customer Allegedly Bumps KFC Employee With Car After Condiments Dispute [Phoenix New Times

story found on The Consumerist

“The Bricklayer”

Accident Report

This one needs an introduction, so you won’t be lost at the beginning. This man was in an accident at work, so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information. This was his response:

“I am writing in response to your request for additional information, for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put ‘poor planning’ as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80-foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using the pulley attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the 300 pounds of tools.”

“You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.”

“Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope…”

from The Darwin Awards

Sample: Worst employee No. 4: Judge Robert Restaino

The story: Restaino was hearing domestic violence cases in his Niagara Falls, N.Y., courtroom when a cell phone rang. After no one owned up to the phone, Restaino “snapped” and jailed all 46 people who were in the courtroom. New York’s top court removed him as a city court judge, saying punishing innocent people is “inexcusable.” (Source: Associated Press)

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